Any queries about your Phone?

Fire. Of all the things that can possibly irritate me today, fire is it. 

As my wife said: "It must be terribly difficult being you," since most things irritate me, on a regular basis. Which is simply not true. Only stupid things irritate me, on a regular basis.

The problem however, is that stupid things, people, ideas and whatnot are all around us, every day. Therefore, they irritate me. 

Like fire. Not fire itself. But the things surrounding it. Like builders. 

You drive to work, and whenever you pass a building site in winter, and there happen to be more than two builders present, they've built a fire. In between houses. On a building site full of flammable rubble. And half the time they're not even standing near the fire. But it continues to burn against a newly painted wall.  

The most ridiculous thing about fires, however, is when you try to report them. Here's what happens:

You phone 10111. They answer only after you've pressed 1 in case of an emergency. Like you would just randomly phone 10111, if for instance, you wanted to talk to your mother. They then tell you that this is for emergencies only, of the Police kind. For a fire, you have to phone 10178. Which you do. Then, the stupid thing happens. 

An electronic voice comes on that says you must press 1 in case of an emergency, or 2 if you have any queries about your phone. 

Excuse me? 

Why would a line dedicated to reporting fires ask you as a second option whether you have any queries about your phone? Is this really the place? 

Yes. I was wondering when my next upgrade is please? Since the phone in my hand is about to burn to a bloody crisp! 

How monumentally stupid. 

What's more than stupid, is when they finally answer and then can't tell you where your nearest fire station is. 

So here's the tip for today - if in the process of burning, rather phone 1023 and ask for the nearest fire department. They, at least, answer immediately and know the answer to most questions.